I met you at the blood bank.

That secret that you know
But don't know how to tell
It fucks with your honour
And it teases your head
But you know that it's good girl
'Cause it's running you with red.

No Children

I love this song more than I can possibly express. It is not a happy song, but it is good for thrashing around to.

No Children

I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a failsafe plot
To piss off the dumb few that forgave us
I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it's already too late
And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
Someday burns down
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
And I never come back to this town again.

In my life
I hope I lie
And tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die.
I hope we both die.

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises
We're pretty sure they're all wrong
I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn't over
And I hope you blink before I do
And I hope I never get sober
And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can't find one good thing to say
And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You'd stay the hell out of my way

I am drowing
There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand
And I hope you die.
I hope we both die.

I love you, Mountain Goats.

Anna
xx

!!QUESTION OF THE DAY!!

Q: WHAT MAKES THE SOUND OF RICE BUBBLES BUT IS NOT NEARLY AS ENJOYABLE?!?!?!?!?!?
A: ANNAHYDE'S WRISTS!!!!!

And that is the question of the day.
But anyway, I shit you not, my wrists are like cereal (I do not mean that literally, clearly I am referencing the above statement, and shut up, okay? I had way too much caffeine today you CANNOT DESTROY ME). Anyway, where was I?
Oh yes, if you are a regular reader of Everyone Is Mental (of which there are two, possibly three, and maybe even four, in existence, and I appreciate your reading immensely), you will know that I am a super music geek.
Actually, I am a bit of a fail music geek. I am actually a music student, semi hiding in my Arts student shell. I do a Bachelor of Arts and a Diploma of Music, but WHYYY? I do not even really like arts. Well, I thought I did, until I met almost every Arts student ever.
Here is a list of the good Arts students I have met:
1. My sister. But that is kind of a given, because she is my sister. Also, she is secretly some kind of genius. She gets A+'s constantly, and is considering writing a thesis on A) Agatha Christie or B) The Smiths (or something to that extent). Excellent? Excellent.
2. Unusual Mysterious Disappearing Indie Boy. Approximately 6ft8 boy who wears flannel shirts and cardigans who I met in my first week at uni. He makes clocks out of LPs and listens to spectacularly indie music, and is also possibly some genius, because he got a scholarship and then dropped out of uni, taking his scholarship money with him and running away to Europe. Unfortunate, because he was one of the only Arts students I actually liked.
3. Generally Hungover Tobacco Girl. She turns up to my tutes with her blonde hair sticking up in all directions, smelling stongly of tobacco and occasionally vodka, drinking diet coke at 10am. I love her because she is almost as bitter as me. We share looks over the two people called Paris who talk in loud voices about all the money they have. Did I mention, generally Arts students make me want to beat myself to death with something blunt and heavy? Yeah. That.
4. OHMYGODHEARTBREAKINGLYBEAUTIFULBOY. Have seen him approx. once. Runs the Arts Students Society (see: "ASS" CLEVER, CLEVER, CLEVER). Is possibly the most attractive male I have ever seen in my life, however, have only seen him the one time, and am now convinced that he was actually a beautiful figment of my imagination. Be still my beating heart.
5. My friend Phillippa**. She has a necklace made of toy dinosaurs. She collects toy giraffes. She bakes constantly. I luff her.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, THEY ARE ALMOST ALL CRAP.
I like music students. They are much, much less crap, and wonderfully, amazingly kooky.

For an example of how crap Arts students are:

Girl on the Run and I have a Lit tute together. So we may or may not occasionally turn up 10 - 30 mins late to most of our tutes, but whatever. On the day we attend said tute, I have 9 hours of straight classes. And for those not personally known to either of us, Girl on the Run lives in The Country (this is, incidentally, a completely foreign concept to most Arts students at Our Uni) and thus it takes her approximately two hours to get to the city every day. EVERY DAY. She is resilient, what can I say. ANYWAY. So we usually grab our coffees and go to our tute, late, but not TOO late. And they go like this:
[Anna and Girl walk into tute.] [Tutor looks up, inhales breath sharply, purses lips, continues rambling feminist comments about crap Victorian literature] (whether it is crap or not is entirely debatable, but do keep in mind that I don't care what you think and have no interest in getting into a debate with you about why or why not Jane Austen was the Master of Subtle Wit and Feminist Prose (TM)) [Anna and Girl take seats, take out books]
TUTOR: You're a biTTTT laTTTTTTTTe. (emphasises "t's" unnecessarily)
GIRL AND ANNA: ...Sorry. [Resume drinking coffee, begin picking at split ends and nails awkwardly]
ENTIRE CLASS (ALL STAUNCH FEMINISTS, ALL FEMALE, ALL WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF MONEY): [Roll eyes, trade skeptical looks, bite lips, flick hair, shake heads sadly at the slightly dishevelled, caffeinated and bitter Anna and Girl]

etc. etc. etc. AND TIMES PASSES.

TUTOR: Okay. So what does everyone think about the role of Helen in "Jane Eyre"? Do we all agree that she seems quite oppressed.
ANNOYING PRETENTIOUS GIRL WHO WEARS UNNECESSARILY PROVOCATIVE TOPS: Oh, well, I think we can ALL agree on that, because she was SOOOOO oppressed, and she is SUCH a good character, and the Brontes are SUCH good writers, and you are SUCH a good tutor, women are SOOO oppressed and Helen is such a RICH, VIBRANT CHARACTER OF SUCH GREAT DEPTH, EVEN THOUGH SHE IS OCCASIONALLY PRONE TO SILLINESS!!!!
ALL OTHER GIRLS (excepting Anna and Girl): [Gleeful tittering]
OTHER ANNOYING PRETENTIOUS GIRL WHO CANNOT STOP FLICKING HER HAIR: Oh you know, MILAN IS SOOOOOO LOVELY THIS TIME OF YEAR! I went to this LOVELY little town, you know, about half an hour's drive away? IT WAS SO QUAINT!
ALL OTHER GIRLS: [General tittering and nods of agreement]

TIME CONTINUES TO PASS. CLASS IS DIVIDED INTO GROUPS OF TWO TO DISCUSS FINAL SCENE OF A PLAY. NEITHER ANNA NOR GIRL HAVE COMPLETED THE READING. THEREFORE, THEY CANNOT PROVIDE AN ANSWER TO THE TUTOR'S "If there was another Act, what would happen to the main character" QUESTION. THE TUTOR POSES THIS QUESTION TO ALL GROUPS, WHO ALL PROPOSE EMPOWERED FEMALE CONCLUSIONS TO THE PLAY, IN WHICH THE MALE IS LEFT ALONE AND CRIPPLED. ANNA AND GIRL HAVE CONCLUDED THE PLAY BY SUGGESTING THAT THE MAIN CHARACTERS BUILD A SPACESHIP AND THEN GO AND EAT ICE CREAM TOGETHER ON MARS. PROBLEMATIC? POTENTIALLY. BETTER? DEFINITELY.

TUTOR: Ladies? What was your conclusion?
GIRL: [shares sideways glance with Anna] Well, we... uh... we didn't quite finish reading this one yet, so... um... we didn't... uh... get very far.
ENTIRE CLASS: [Eye rolling, "tch"-ing, general ashamed eye-avoidance]
TUTOR: [Blank stare]
ANNA: But, uh... we basically... um... agreed that the main female character would... uh... be... in...de...pen...dant???
TUTOR: [Launches again into rampant spiel about feminism].
GIRL AND ANNA: [Revert to neurotic nail and hair picking, sipping coffee, glaring from under fringes].

END SCENE.

So anyway. Welcome to Uni.
The point is, I don't really like people that much, except when they are Girl on the Run, the various people listed in the above numbered section, or Music Students.
And with that, I bid you good day, and leave you with the following lyrics:

"In my life, why do I smile, at people who I'd much rather kick in the eye".

Morrissey, how could I possibly love anyone more than you?

You're right.
I couldn't.
Thanks, man.

Anna
xx

P.S. Oh wait, I didn't actually explain why being a music student makes my wrists crunch. I have RSI. HOORAY! The end.

I think you are really fit. You're fit, but my gosh, don't you know it.

HELLO AND WELCOME TO FRIDAY. I am feeling somewhat better today. Well, I think I am, I'm not sure, because occasionally I think about something and I get angry and feel like kicking a wall, but as a GENERAL... THING... UM... I feel better today. So here are the things I like today:

-Milk Tea. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Milk tea is now officially the main part of my life. At uni, my music lectures go like this: Milk tea + sour gummy worms/snakes alive + rambling + drawing offensive pictures of my friend + my friend drawing offensive pictures of me + stickers + dinosaurs + ruined lecture notes. Good times? yes.
- Other ridiculously bright asian drinks. So I learned yesterday that Calpico has 39 grams of sugar per serve. I am not sure how I avoided a heart attack yesterday with all the caffeine and sugar I consumed, but IT WAS A GOOD DAY, HOKAY?!?!?! Also, Calpico tastes like Hubba Bubba. Excellent.
- Fashionable males with wingtips and leather briefcases. Oh my god, I die. He is at my uni. I think offering him my hand in marriage would be a little too forward because I've only kind of SEMI met him before, but I am officially in love. or just in love with his style, actually. Wow.
- Hilarious strangers in berets. 'Nuff said.
- Coffee and caffeinated beverages and caffeine and oh look a bird! and I need caffeine, where did I leave my phone let's go dancing! oh wow my car is on a different level to the one I parked it on WHY IS THERE TRAFFIC I NEED TO GET HOME OH HI THERE.
- The fact that my friend will very soon own a pair of Louboutins. This is exciting because this is probably the closest that I will ever get to a pair of Louboutins. Interestingly, she also has a friend back in Singapore who owns a wardrobe full of Herve Leger, Fendi, Camilla and Marc, Review and etc. etc. etc. I DIE EVEN MORE.
- Bad electronica, and general empowered woman music. HELLO CRYSTAL CASTLES AND BEYONCE.
- Girls who manage to pull off ridiculously short mini skirts in the brightest colours ever, they are so brave, oh man.
- OH MY GOD, I am totally going to go to Rainbow Serpent with the above friend who is getting Louboutins, and also my crazy hippie friend and her friend, and possibly another crazy hippie friend and my ex-boyfriend and IT WILL BE AWESOME, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. I am so psyched. SO PSYCHED.
- Also, I am considering chipping into the money my parents have given me for going overseas to go to Singapore. Not for long. And I haven't really decided yet, but maybe. Because I have friends there now. And they also have Top Shop in Singapore. And oh man.
- GLITTER AND SPAKLES AND ASIAN KITSCH.
- I am baking ridiculously girly cupcakes for my best friend's birthday. They will be amazing. And if you miss out you will regret it.

Okay, so I have to go do my GIGANTIC PILE OF FLUTE PRACTISE now, in capitals, but here are some wise words from Something Corporate:

"It's because I can spell "confusion" with a "k" and I can like it. It's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it. It's to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car, when the first star you see may not be a star, I'M NOT YOUR STARRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

And take those wise words with you in everything you do in life. They won't help you at all, but they might make you giggle. They make me giggle.

Anna
xx

Get your rage on.

I was going to be all poetic and merry today and tell you about all the things I like and all the good things that are happening, but here is what I would like to say instead. Just this once.
Today I like: Nothing.
Today I dislike: Everything. Including and especially you.
AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK.
So I am going to go cry into my coffee and then I am going to eat as much chocolate as I can without vomiting, and then I am going to go listen to shit electronic music like La Roux and Crystal Castles... and then I'm going to get over it for an hour and do my flute practise, because if I don't I will potentially fuck my life over even more. THEN I AM GOING TO HAVE A BATH AND LISTEN TO LCD SOUNDSYSTEM AND ADELE AND LOW AND THEN I AM GOING TO PAINT MY NAILS AND THEN I AM GOING TO SLEEP.
Then, when I wake up for 9 hours of straight classes tomorrow, I am going to wear a whole bunch of bright red things, and I am going to drink so much coffee that I will permanently shake, and I am going to go to sleep on my friend - let's call her Gretchen - Gretchen's* shoulder in my music lecture, or listen to her lovely rambling, or draw on my other friend - for similar purposes, let's call him Jeffrey - Jeffrey's* work, and I am going to glare at every crap self-righteous feminist in my lit tute and I am going to meet Anastasia*** after orchestra and STOMP OUT MY ANGRIES AND KICK SOME STUFF AND READ MY HOROSCOPE ON THE TRAIN AND CRITICISE WHATEVER IT SAYS AND THEN I WILL GET HOME AND DO NOTHING BUT WATCH CRAP TV.
And then on Friday, I will go and dance with a bunch of hippies. And maybe get really, really sloshed, if I feel like it.
And then I might feel better, maybe. Because actually, my life has decided to collapse on itself like a souffle in a cupboard in SO MANY WAYS recently, that I feel like... uh... I don't know, like kicking kittens or something. But I wouldn't because I really like cats, and when I am an old drunken spinster living alone in my dilapidated mansion, they will be my only company.
And don't get me wrong - I actually like life most of the time. Just not so much at the moment.
And I'm posting this so that when I feel like A Success (TM) I will look back and laugh raucously and say, "OH PAST ANNA! You were so silly I cannot explain how silly you were to be so bitter about life!" and then I will drink my Moet Chandon, climb into the basket of my hot air balloon with my immensely attractive French indie lover, and fly away to Paris. While eating macarons. And dancing.
Much love,
Me.

*** - I have never known anyone called Anastasia, Jeffrey or Gretchen.

P.S. I do know someone whose middle name is Anastasia however, and she is probably cooler than you, because she is cooler than most people, but that's an entirely other story.

P.P.S. One thing that just made me happy - "Don't You Forget About Me" just came on gold FM. I NEED TO GO AND WATCH THE BREAKFAST CLUB YES PLEASE.

All you need is love.

Herro intahwebs.

It's been a while, i haven't felt like conversing with you all, i'm sorry. It hasn't been the best month. Most of you who have cleverly discovered my true identity (SHOCK!) know the cause of this and know i haven't been myself for a while. But, for those of you on the webternets this fine day unaware of my current position, gather round.

Around this time last month me and my "significant other" of near three years broke up and went our own ways. It was a pretty shattering time as you may expect. There were almost two straight weeks of slowly going through all the Joss Whedon/Spiderman i have in my house every night and my grades in uni going from straight A's (cause i am that pro) to solid C's. Then there was a liiiiiitttllee bit of weight loss and a sevre lack of sleep, but that was due to the Joss Whedon as much as anything - i just couldn't turn it off!! It took me a while to turn this around slightly and attempt to move on. I make special emphasis on the ATTEMPT part here. Still hasn't taken off so much.

Now i would consider myself an emotional sort (MORE SHOCK!) and just need to take a whole mess of time to get through this. Of course, when you have particularly depressing nights - like a certain chain of events that happened last night - the timer starts again and you tend to remember how jarring the initial breakup can be. Now internets, i do not really want to discuss said evetns of last night because they are a liiiiiitttllee private and personal and this is not the best forum in which to discuss them sadly. I will state, however, that it is going to take me many more hours in isloation with super mario, many more moons of poor sleep, many more kilos lost and a certain degree of self-deprecation before i may be myself again. I take a long time to get over these kinds of things - and i want to make it clear that i don't believe everyone to be like this, some people move on faster than others and i don't blame them. Sometimes i wish that i could move on faster and that all of this didn't happen and that last night ESPECIALLY didn't make me feel this way all over again. But hey, what can you do, everything in its right place.

Maybe i'll just become asexual. Its a plan.

PS: In regards to the picture. I just happen to love it more than any other commission i've ever seen. Adrian Alphonia is definitely one of favortie artists period. I hopr you enjoy it.

You would if I would, but you never would.

My life hit a new low last night. So today, here are the pretty things that make me feel (slightly) better.
BUT HEY. it can only get better from here, right?
I hope.