Hi.
It's Monday. Tomorrow I have a flute recital and on Wednesday I have a written exam on social theory which I know nothing about, and thus, HERE I AM WRITING A NEW BLOG POST. I use my time effectively.
Anyway, how are you? I hope you're excellent.
I got five hours sleep last night and woke up this morning and went to work, where I made a double strength coffee that didn't even hit the sides. I didn't even feel anything. No caffeine buzz, no nothing. I feel that my caffeine tolerance might be getting higher, which is probably a bad thing, because I hear that too much caffeine makes you infertile.
However, after working with children for a year, I feel this is not a great loss, really.
Today a prep boy came in, greeted me with a "Hello, Darling", promptly became highly offended when I forgot what he wanted on his toast, and then sat with an Etch-a-Sketch for half an hour, whizzing the thing that cleans the screen back and forth with a sound like ripping velcro, over and over again, until I yelled "ENOUGH!!!" really loudly and made everyone jump. I feel like an evil dictator, leading my tribe of highly irritating tiny people. Who can't take orders. And only exist between the hours of 7am and 9am on Monday and Tuesday mornings.
Sigh.
Anyway. So I have this social theory exam on wednesday, and I have no idea how I am going to pass it. And I don't mean that in the joking sense, I actually mean that I have not attended more than a third of the lectures and I have no idea why I chose the subject in the first place. Somehow I've been averaging B+'s on my essays though, but I don't think that's so much due to intelligence as it is to being able to bullshit. I am an arts student. We don't do anything other than drink a lot, consume a whole bunch of caffeine, bullshit our way through university and occasionally have existential crises.
(Hangovers this year: Approx. 7 or 8, Daily Caffeine Consumption: Approx. 2 - 4 strong cups, Wanky Self-Important Essays of Bullshitting: All essays completed, Existential Crises: 1 or 2, but I'm sure that will move up to three around the new year.)
Anyway, I started studying for it two days ago, and I am kind of ready to concuss myself with something blunt and heavy.
The reasons for this:
"The Mirror Stage as Formative of the 'I' Function as revealed in Psychoanalytic Experience." - essentially "look-I-can-see-my-reflection-but-I-kind-of-hate-it-but-actually-I-have-to-like-it-so-okay-then" but in about a billion more words.
"White Self-Racialisation as Identity Fetishism" - In short: people are racist and crap.
"Reclaiming Auschwitz" - Self-explanatory and immensely depressing.
"A Child is Being Mutilated: Law's Fantasies of Female Genital Mutilation." - At this point, I want to gouge my own eyes out in horror and despair for humanity.
ARGHRGRHGRHGRHGRHRGHRGRHGRHR.
So there we have a nice soup of self-hatred, hatred-of-others, child abuse, genocide and sexual abuse. Remind me why I chose this subject?
So my weekend was basically trying to reread about a million texts and take notes on them. And each one is more depressing than the previous.
Anyway. In other news, I keep getting really innappropriate songs stuck in my head recently and then realising I am singing them quietly in public places.
Most recent choices have been Tori Amos' "Professional Widow": "Slag pit, stag shit - honey bring it close to my lips. Starfucker, just like my daddy, selling his baby..." and so on and so forth. And of course, some Kanye "Gold Digger": "Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke niggers." And some JT thrown in: "She looks like a model, except she got a little more ass."
I feel like a dirty, whorey misogynist and I don't even know how that works.
Anyway, on that note, happy Monday, and I hope your week is less full of social theory papers and more full of Awesomeness.
Yeah.
Anna xx
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