So I'm probably missing the target audience, but...

(This picture is entirely unrelated to the following post, but it's quite possibly the single most beautiful thing I have ever seen.)

I have a friend, we shall call her "Miss Face", who loves reality TV like nothing else. Miss Face comes to my house on Mondays, and I'm pretty sure it's because of the MTV, because you can trust that she will be down there with her eyes superglued to the teev, watching The Hills or, I don't know, one of those other trashy shows like that one with the stripper from Myspace. She eats that trash for breakfast. Anyway. The point is, reality shows aren't generally my area of expertise...or interest. (Although I like to think that Battlestar Galactica is a reality show, so I can kid myself that one day I'll grow up AWESOME and fly Vipers and go pew pew pew. And I guess really that's about as "unscripted" and "reality" as something like the Hills, but I digress).

There is a show on MTV, however, that is the exception to this rule. That show is My Super Sweet 16. I don't know if any of you have ever watched My Super Sweet 16, but it is PURE GENIUS. The schedule of MTV is erratic and illogical, but whenever I spy this on the little digital TV guide thing I am immediately RIGHT THERE, unable to look away. I know a show about whiny 15-year-olds celebrating surviving another trip around the sun doesn't sound like gripping viewing, but these aren't ordinary 15-year-olds. (However, you mustn't mistake them for being actually special in any way.) These are 15-year-old harpies, the spawn of demons - demons who, incidentally, fork out hundreds of thousands of dollars on giving their precious babies every single thing they want. And that's just for one night.

The thing is, though, the tantrums! The drama! The unwarranted self-importance! This show is like crack, vapourised and delivered straight into your body through your eyeballs and your slack-jawed mouth. The (usually) girls on the show operate under the assumption that everything else comes after them. Which, whatever, right, it's their birthday. They can have one day, right? But I don't mean that their parents chuck a sickie to take them bowling. I mean they can honestly not comprehend how the functioning of their entire city comes before them - I recall one episode where the birthday girl demanded that the major thoroughfare of her city be closed (think Hoddle st, or Flinders maybe, I don't know, I don't drive) so she could have a parade. Another girl had a tantrum because her dress was missing "a few grands worth" of crystal - because money can't buy you class, just look at P. Hilton - and also that it made her look fat. By the way, she evidenced this by shaking her arm-flub and demanding "DOES THIS LOOK SEXY TO YOU?" despite the fact that said dress was completely sleeveless and not actually near her arms. Apparently it immediately turned all muscle into this poor girls arm into fat. I don't know about you, but if I'd bought a dress that could do that I'd be immediately crashing the Oscars or something and rubbing it on celebrities and then maniacally laughing as, in one fell swoop, modern society's perception of feminine beauty crumbled. I think I'd probably get Chris Brown as well, render him completely harmless. Because seriously, that is completely wack.

Personally, though, I think the pièce de résistance was the girl who completely broke down, tantrummed all over the place, because Dearest Daddy's birthday gift was the wrong kind of brand-spanking-new high-end car. I mean really, how much can it possibly matter what kind of car it is? You're only going to crash it anyway.